


This Matters

by I_am_a_Cephalopod



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games)
Genre: Additional Pairings to be Added, F/F, F/M, Love Stories, M/M, Valo-Kas - Freeform, one shots
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-07-19
Updated: 2015-07-24
Packaged: 2018-04-10 00:52:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,853
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4370957
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/I_am_a_Cephalopod/pseuds/I_am_a_Cephalopod
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A series of Drabbles based on songs I love about the Inquisition and the people who make it up.</p>
<p>*Not all drabbles are set in the same universe.</p>
<p>Chp 1: Dorian/The Iron Bull - Dorian can't quiet believe that this time things aren't going to end badly.<br/>Chp 2: Krem/Dorian - Krem and Dorian share quiet a bit.<br/>Chp 3: Adaar/OFC - Mele Adaar has a hard time learning from past heart breaks.<br/>Chp 4: Cassandra & Varric - Varric is having a bad day, Cassandra helps pick him back up.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Only Fools

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This drabble is set in my second run through game, with Inquisitor Rama Cadash, a Rouge who sided with the Templars and woos Sera.
> 
> Wise men say only fools rush in  
> But I can't help falling in love with you  
> Shall I stay  
> Would it be a sin  
> If I can't help falling in love with you
> 
> Like a river flows surely to the sea  
> Darling so it goes  
> Some things are meant to be  
> So take my hand, and take my whole life too  
> 'Cause I can't help falling in love with you
> 
> Like a river flows so surely to the sea  
> Oh my darling so it goes  
> Some things are meant to be  
> So won't you please just take my hand, and take my whole life too  
> 'Cause I can't help falling in love, in love with you  
> 'Cause I can't help falling in love, falling in love,  
> I keep falling in love with you
> 
> -'Can't Help Falling In Love' by Ingrid Michaelson

Dorian was good at fire magic, good at puling heat from the fade and using it to break down things to ash and dust. He made things burn fast and bright, and loved in much the same way. Most of his affairs were the 'be madly in love for a week then burn out spectacularly' type, and he had gotten used to it. He just assumed that was how he worked, and so resigned himself to a long string of lovers and no one to settle down with.

Not that he'd want to settle down, no, that's what his father always wanted, and so creating a family was the farthest thing from Dorian's mind. Now if only he could convince his heart that.

The mage was currently sat on a fence overlooking the training yard trying to do just that. It wasn't that the yard was instilling a wish for companionship, Dorian doubted the mud field could instill anything more than a wish for a bath. In fact, it wasn't even anything in the yard that was fueling his heart ache. It was the entirely too sappy scene that was playing out on the roof of the tavern between Cadash and Sera that had done it, complete with cookies and all.

So caught up in the romance that was playing before him, Dorian barely noticed the large Qunari sneaking up on him (which was rather surprising, considering just how large and just how loud he was). The smack on the back that alerted him to the Iron Bull's presence almost threw him off the rail he was on, and Dorian glared as Bull's deep laugh echoed through the court yard.

"Sorry, mage boy, didn't mean to catch you off guard," Bull said, clearly not sorry. "What're you up to out here with us savages?"

"Oh nothing, just trying to escape the egg head's eternal snoring. He may claim he doesn't, but my study is right above him, and when he falls asleep sitting up he sounds like Rama drank the tavern."

"Ha, I believe you." Bull settled himself next to Dorian, making the wood groan underneath them. Dorian knew neither Sera nor Rama would let them be if the fence broke beneath them.

The two sat in silence for a while, Bull seeming content to watch his Chargers whack each other with training weapons and Dorian choosing to wallow in his melancholy. Usually the Bull's presence would draw Dorian from his dark moods, but today the Qunari was just making his heart hurt more. The two had been sleeping together for about five months now, the longest Dorian had ever been with one person, and that fact just made all his prior failings more apparent.

"Aren't they cute?" Bull sighed, gazing at the pair on the roof. "Who knew our little boss and the elf would end up bumping uglies." Dorian almost choked on his own spit at that.

"How is it that you take something so good and turn it into something crude?" he asked with a little more bite than he meant to.

"Something wrong, Dor?" Bull asked, turning to regard the smaller man. Dorian curled in on himself, feeling tired and upset at generally everything.

"How long can this last?" he asked, feeling his heart tear as the words left his mouth. The Iron Bull was a Qunari, they didn't do long term, and Dorian knew the Bull wouldn't either.

"A while I think. The Inquisition is made of strong, hard working people. We'll make it through whatever the world has to throw at us." Bull looked completely sincere, reaching a hand over to rub at Dorian's back.

"Are you really that fucking dense?" Dorian yelled, only to lower his voice when every head turned towards them. "I'm not talking about the Inquisition."

"I know," the Bull sighed, resting his elbows on his knees. "I knew this talk was coming. Look, Dorian, in the Qun, we don't do the 'exclusive' thing. It doesn't make for productive people, because we get too attached, and that can lead to someone having a commitment above the Qun itself."

"Why don't you just do it quickly? Spare me the speech," Dorian practically whispered. Just because he knew this was coming didn't make it any easier.

"But I'm no longer part of the Qun," Bull continued, almost as if Dorian hadn't spoken. "And even when I was, I felt like... like you were something important. Something that would make me a worse spy but a better person. I may be a fool for saying this, but us, we can last as long as you're comfortable with it." Offering up a large grey hand, the Iron Bull gave Dorian a dopey smile, and despite himself Dorian felt his mouth twitch into his own subdued one. "What do you say, Kadan?"

Dorian took Bull's hand, feeling like his heart was once again whole and beating in his chest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is what I've been doing to keep occupied at my job. Who knew working at a candy store would include so much waiting.
> 
> Also, I would love a beta for these. I'm having a hard time finding the right voice for these, especially since I'm not giving them much forethought, and I really don't want them to seem out of character. I also haven't read this through after writing it, but hey, I think it's pretty good for a couple hours work while dealing with kids and cleaning floors.
> 
> As always, kudos are love, comments are motivation.


	2. Safe at the End

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Krem and Dorian share a lot of things, and yearning for the good parts of their homeland is one of them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is set in my first play through, with Inquisitor Mele Adaar, a warrior who chose the mages and ended up with the Iron Bull.
> 
> That's it, it's split - it won't recover  
> Just frame the halves and call them brothers  
> Find their fathers and their mothers  
> If you remember who they are
> 
> Over and over they call us their friends  
> Can't we find something else to pretend?  
> Like nobody's won and we're safe at the end
> 
> In the darkness the film machine's spinning  
> So let's leave it on  
> We'll be out in the street  
> before anyone knows that we're gone
> 
> That's it, it's split, it can't recover  
> Just frame the halves and call them a whole  
> And chip at the bricks and fill up your pockets  
> With the pieces of the wall that you stole
> 
> The hunt is on, everyone's chasing  
> Everyone's chasing a shot  
> A shot rings out, nobody wants it  
> Nobody wants it to stop
> 
> That's it, it's split, it won't recover  
> Just frame the halves and call them brothers  
> Find your fathers and your mothers  
> If you remember who they are  
> If you remember, if you remember,  
> if you remember who they are
> 
> -'Call Them Brothers' by Regina Spektor

Despite how shitty Krem had had it in Tevinter, there were days when he missed his homeland. For one thing, it never snowed there on an otherwise sunny day, nor did they go for months without seeing blue sky. The food had been spicy and flavorful, and he missed the sound of his mother singing in the kitchen. He missed the beautiful architecture of the nicer parts of the city, and he missed the market that he had grown up running around and begging sweets off of nice ladies.

Dorian, on the other hand, missed the endless old books in the libraries. He missed curling up in a secluded corner of the summer home with a book and their cat Tash. The parties were extravagant, and the fashions were luxurious. He missed cool nights in the garden, and stolen kisses in dark corners. He felt as if a part of him had been left behind in the lazy summer days of his childhood.

But neither of them missed the scornful looks, the disappointment from those around them. Their homeland was full of people too full of themselves to notice other's pain, and too insecure to leave another's faults alone. It was oppressive and judgmental, and despite the things that had made them content, neither of them could ever have truly been happy.

Krem loved the Chargers, and he loved the Inquisition. He enjoyed snow ball fights with the chief (tactical training, he called it), and stormy days spent next to a fireplace, hot cider in hand and surrounded by friends. The food may be bland, but the company never was, and meals were always fun. The buildings were cozy and practical for the weather, and he got to see so many different places he could hardly recall some of them.

Dorian found himself fitting into the Inquisition like he had never fit in back in the Imperium. He enjoyed collaborating with the other mages in the tower, trading books with Vivienne and arguing with Solas. The get togethers were loud and rambunctious, usually with at least one person passing out under the table. He loved late nights in Mele's room, speaking about the most meaningful and meaningless things, and surprised laughs when Varric or Sera told a joke.

But most of all, they loved each other. Apart, they had their own lives that were fulfilling and meaningful, but together they had so much more. To each other they were simultaneously reminders of home, but symbols of how much better this new life was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So different universe, so Dorian gets to be with someone different. I have a soft spot for these two together, because Vints and also Queer as fuck. They need more stories.
> 
> Still looking for a Beta, because a second pair of eyes is always appreciated.
> 
> As always, kudos are love, comments are motivation.


	3. Broken and Lame

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Despite past heart breaks, it's still just as easy to fall in love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Set in the Inquisitor Mele Adaar universe, before she became the Inquisitor.
> 
> She's the kind of girl who'll smash herself down in a night  
> She's the kind of girl who'll fracture her mind 'til it's light  
> She'll break her own heart, and you know  
> That she'll break your heart, too  
> So darling, let go of her hand
> 
> She's been skipping days, spilling her drinks in the sink  
> And you know, she's never coming home, never coming home again  
> But when when when she open her eyes eyes eyes  
> Beyond the chipping paint through the windowpane
> 
> Lies lies lies  
> Her patron saint, broken and lame  
> And absolutely insane for learning that true love exists  
> So darling, let go of her hand  
> You'll be to blame for playing this game  
> And learning that true love exists
> 
> She's the kind of girl who'll smash herself down in a night  
> She's the kind of girl who'll fracture her mind 'til it's light  
> She'll break her own heart, and you know  
> That she'll break your heart too  
> So darling, let go of her hand
> 
> You'll be to blame for playing this game  
> And learning that true love exists  
> Broken and lame  
> And know that true love exists  
> The pain, the pain, the pain  
> Of knowing that true love exists
> 
> -'Patron Saint' by Regina Spektor

At the age of nineteen, Mele Adaar left home with a broken heart and a determination to never be foolish enough to fall in love again. Joining the Valo-Kas had been her safe-guard against finding anyone, knowing that the group would be moving too much to make any meaningful connections. They were just what she needed, a group of rowdy Tal-Vashoth that knew who they were and could help her find herself. A new group of people who knew nothing of her past, and the future whatever she chose for it to be.

It was exactly what she needed.

As the months went on, she began to make friends in the group. Shokrakar was a tank of a woman, but one of the kindest souls Mele had ever met, and quickly took the young Vashoth under her proverbial wing. Katoh, a lanky mage, reminded Mele of her mother, lip scars and all. Kaaris had taken a shining to her almost immediately, making a sport of writing bad poetry and making her cringe. The rest were all nice, but none had really made an impression yet. Except for Shianni, that is.

She was... fascinating, to say the least. As one of the few non-Qunari in the group, the elf seemed impossibly small. Mele feared half the time that the little rouge would get herself snapped in two, and the other half of the time she worried that she'd stab herself with how fast she moved her daggers. Shianni had the tendancy to throw herself into fights without thought, and purposefully would jump in front of blades to spare her team mates. It was frustrating at best and terrifying at worst, and there was a giant red flag in her head telling her not to get attached to the stabby elf.

Unfortunately it seemed her heart had gotten adept at ignoring that flag waving part of her brain, and beat faster whenever Shianni was around. Despite having been broken almost beyond repair, it had begun to yearn after the self destructive woman, and Mele was beginning to come to terms with the fact that she would have to deal with a broken heart yet again.

"Before I say anything, I am speaking as your friend here," Shokrakar began, sitting down next to Mele beside the fire. The younger Qunari glanced from where she had been watching Shianni tell stories to the others, her arms waving about her to help. "Going after that one is a bad idea."

"I have no idea what you are talking about," Mele said, trying for nonchalant and instead coming off as uncomfortable. Shokrakar just huffed in amusement.

"I'm going to ignore that and get to my point. She has no idea how to care for other people without breaking herself in the process, and from what I've learned about you, that would be devastating. I may have only known you for two months, but I would hate to see you broken by something so easily avoidable."

The younger woman scowled, hunching in on herself. "Yeah, well, easy is rather subjective, don't you think? What do you have against her?"

"Nothing, I actually like her very much. But I also know that eventually she'll get hurt because of her own decisions, and I'm ready for that day. Are you?"

With that, Shokrakar got up, patting Mele on the back before leaving. Years later, Mele would wish she had listened to her friend, but in that moment, she just returned to watching her heart's desire.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I have this huge backstory in my mind about Mele Adaar, and I'm planning on writing a larger fic for her. But here's just a tid bit about her time in the Valo-Kas. In my mind the Vao-Kas aren't all Qunari in race, but most of them had been part of the Qun at one point. I planned all of them out, but that list is at home and unfortunately I am not, so that will be explained another day.
> 
> As always, kudos are love, comments are motivation.


	4. It's Better to Feel Pain

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, set in Mele Adaar universe. Unfortunately this is the Universe where I left Hawke behind, so.... sad times.
> 
> She'll lie and steal, and cheat, and beg you from her knees  
> Make you think she means it this time  
> She'll tear a hole in you, the one you can't repair  
> But I still love her, I don't really care
> 
> When we were young, oh, oh, we did enough  
> When it got cold, ooh, ooh, we bundled up  
> I can't be told, ah, ah, it can't be done
> 
> It's better to feel pain, than nothing at all  
> The opposite of love's indifference  
> So pay attention now, I'm standing on your porch screaming out  
> And I won't leave until you come downstairs
> 
> So keep your head up, keep your love  
> Keep your head up, my love  
> Keep your head up, keep your love
> 
> And I don't blame you dear for running like you did all these years  
> I would do the same, you'd best believe  
> And the highway signs say we're close but I don't read those things anymore  
> I never trusted my own eyes
> 
> When we were young oh, oh, we did enough  
> When it got cold, ooh, ooh we bundled up  
> I can't be told, ah, ah, it can't be done
> 
> So keep your head up, keep your love  
> Keep your head up, my love  
> Keep your head up, keep your love  
> Head up, love
> 
> -"Stubborn Love" by The Lumineers

It was in no way odd for Seeker Pentaghast to find Varric in the Hearld's Rest with a drink in hand. It was odd, though, to find him at the bottom of what seemed to be his third cup of Chasind Sack Mead, which the Inquisitor might not be too happy he got his hands on. There was no crowd of people hanging onto every word of one of his animated stories, nor was he happily humming as he wrote out ideas for his newest book. No, he was slumped in a corner, giving anyone who approached the cold shoulder and drinking himself to what would probably be one of the worst hangovers of his life.

Without hesitation, Cassandra walked up to her friend (it was still odd to have so many of them) and took his cup and the bottle of Mead away. His incoherent protest was ignored as she handed him water instead, glaring at him until he actually took a sip of it. When he did, she sat next to him, leaning back and waiting until he wasn't quiet as drunk to try and get him back to his room.

"Wha're ya doin'?" Varric asked, his speech slurred and slow.

"I believe this is called 'helping a friend'," she said. "The Inquisitor explained it to me."

"Heh, funny. I din' know you 'ad a sense o humor," Varric joked. Though it wasn't exactly easy to hear, considering he had gone face first into the table and hadn't moved afterwards.

With a sigh, Cassandra once again got to her feet, pulling Varric up with her. "That is it, I'm taking you to your room and you are sleeping this off."

"What e're ya say, Seeker."

It was awkward, to say the least. Had Varric been taller, Cassandra would have been able to sling his arm across her shoulders to keep him steady. Instead they walked side by side with Varric's arm around her hips, one of her hands holding his grip there and the other on his shoulder trying to keep him from stumbling too much. The Seeker firmly ignored the hoots and calls coming from the Iron Bull and Sera, who seemed to be locked in a drinking contest of some kind involving Dagna's new moonshine and ho chili peppers. In all it seemed disgusting.

"Ya always make that noise," Varric slurred, stumbling over his own feet.

"I have no idea what you are talking about, Varric," she deflected.

The two stayed silent after that point, Varric focusing on not falling and Cassandra focusing on not dropping him. After much effort they made it up the stairs to Varric's room. After five minutes of fishing around in his pocket for his key, Cassandra made a disgusted noise and decided to find it for him. After two pat downs she found it on top of the door frame in a moment of desperation, and proceeded to stare at the dwarf and wonder how he got it up there. With a shrug, Varric took the key and unlocked the door, pulling away from Cassandra to face plant onto his bed.

"You cannot go to sleep like that," Cassandra said, drawing the dwarf another glass of water and putting it on his bedside table. When he made no motion to move, she grabbed him by the legs and flipped him onto his back. He groaned, trying to scowl at her but just looking a bit constipated. The Seeker huffed her amusement, then grabbed a boot and yanked it off none too gently.

"Careful there, Cass, 'm a delicate bein'."

"And I am the Empress of Orlais. You will thank me in the morning," she assured, yanking the other boot off. Grabbing his arm she pulled him into sitting up, placing the water in his hand and moving it towards his face for him.

"Why are you doing this?" he asked, looking more melancholy than she had seen him.

"I told you before, you are a friend."

"Am I really? What kind of a friend does what I've done?"

"Varric..."

"No, really, what kind of a friend am I? I led my best friend to his death, after he had already given up so much. I lied to you, and continued to lie. Everyone I care about either dies or fucks up enough that most people want them dead, and what do I do? I make jokes and write stories..." Silent tears were streaming down his cheeks as he drunkenly bared his soul, and Cassandra had no idea how to help. Mele would be better than this, or the spirit, or even Sera could find a way to cheer Varric up, but Cassandra was way out of her depth.

So she sat down next to him and tentatively wrapped an arm around his shoulders. He immediately leaned into her, burying his face in her shoulder. His frame shook with his sobs, his hands coming to grasp at her shirt.

"In my experience, it is your wit and storytelling that makes you a great friend," Cassandra whispered, pulling the dwarf a little tighter. "Even beyond that, you are fiercely loyal. So much so that you withstood days of interrogation and convinced me you did not know where your friend was. Every one of us knows that you would risk your life for us, and none of us take it for granted."

"But I failed him," he sobbed.

"It was his choice," Cassandra said in a much more firm tone. "Blaming yourself takes that away from him. He knowingly sacrificed himself so that the rest of us could escape. So that _Mele_ could escape. Without him we would lose this war. So instead of drinking yourself into a puddle, maybe we should celebrate and honor Hawke."

"Ya know," Varric said, pulling back and wiping at his eyes, "Despite what most people think, you do know what to say. Some of the time."

"And despite what most people think, you actually have a heart. Some of the time," Cassandra retorted with a completely strait face. Varric gave a watery laugh.

"Thanks, Seeker."

"Of course."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this one kind of fits the song, but it ran a bit away from me. Anyway, I really ship these two, but in the 'asexual life partners' way. Which I think works so well for them. So yeah, this one is meant to be before they came to that conclusion, but it's leading there!
> 
> I appreciate any feedback. If I said something wrong or there's a typo, please say so. I'm typing these up while bored at work.
> 
> As always, kudos are love, comments are motivation.


End file.
